I have a little different *psychological* idea that might help you. We counsel grieving people, and I used this when my son died, a method of putting these psych problems to rest over time. You'll have to modify it a bit to fit your own application.
What we do is instruct the person to set a time out every day to openly think about (or grieve) the issue. Yours isn't all-consuming grief, so maybe 15-20 minutes each day. Preferably at the same time each day and preferably in the morning - maybe while getting ready for work or commuting. Mull the accident over in your mind in any way you want to for that time, then when the set time is up - put it aside. Whenever it comes to mind during the day, you push it away until the following day, at which time you can dwell on it & mull it over again. It can be difficult to push away at first, but it does get easier as you regain control. It's wise to have a backup plan if the thoughts won't go away - like call someone on the phone, play music and sing, whatever it takes.
YOU set the time and place for these thoughts. Do it at a time when you are not at the barn or your fear will heighten at the worst possible time. As time passes, you will need the full set time less and less. Then you set aside a shorter time period and adhere to that until you can shorten it again. What this does is put you back in control of your thoughts.
All blessings to you, my friend!
Wendy
NC
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